thirsty

I need to feel your love. I know you are there but knowing does not feel like enough right now.  I want to feel it with every cell of my body...in every fiber of my being.  You are Love.  You are the Source from which all things good and worthwhile flow.  Without You, I am nothing.  I feel like nothing right now.  I try to be something.  I give thought to what I can do that will leave a special mark in the world...some evidence that I was here and the living of my life mattered.  I fret at not knowing what this mark should be.  I fret at the thought that somehow I might not matter.  The reality, at least what I can conceive of it in this moment, is that I matter as much as you say I do.  I matter because I am here...I am alive...I exist.  I matter because You chose to breathe life into me and You chose to give me consciousness...of not only myself but of the world around me and You.  I don't think I need to question anything beyond this.  The very fact that I exist tells me that I am loved...and should the lights dim on my physical existence, I firmly believe I will become more vastly aware of my spiritual existence.  All this said, I still long to feel you in me. I long to feel Your love expand and take up residence in my body and being. I cannot do this life alone...without You. It means next to nothing without You. I place blame on the inadequacies of those around me...but the reality is, of course they are!  In comparison to You, all things are inadequate.  No one's love but Yours will suffice.  I want Yours. I want to drink You in,  I want my cup to runneth over.  I have experienced that before and long to experience it again. Please help me to show up...to do the work of showing up for the relationship with You.  I have nothing to give without receiving from  you first.  I only matter to the extent that I allow your Love in. Please help me to open to Your abundant river. I am so very thirsty.  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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