time gone by

Where do these moments go?  As I peruse through old photos, I see image after image of child in arms.  Those eternal moments have gone by in a blink.  No matter the effort to slow life down, it persists in rushing by at the speed of light.  Our oldest is 10 and the second trailing closely behind.  I find myself questioning whether I have tried to slow life down too much.  Have I kept her...them...from being the best versions of themselves they can possibly be?  We all vie for attention and time to make our own matters matter most.  The stage of life we are in now is making a house a home and establishing patterns and rituals of living together.  I look around and see parents running their kiddos here and there and everywhere.  They are pre-pubescent experts at one thing or another...karate, jujitsu, soccer, piano, baseball, gymnastics, math.  I wonder if I have done enough...am doing enough for them.  Have I missed the boat?  I want to motivate and inspire them to action and give them opportunities to excel and succeed at something.  Even more, I want them to know the lost art of slowing down and relaxing, a lost art which I have much to learn about myself.  This home and space we are creating is first and foremost for that.  Work certainly happens here but the pace seems to be more in rhythm with times gone by.  If I could surrender one thing right now it would be shame and guilt over not doing enough, being enough, giving my kids enough.  I would accept that I am giving what I can and that is enough.  Who I am is enough.  I surrender this to you now and I thank you for receiving it.  

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